The last 8 months have been one of the biggest challenges of my adult life. In January I started experiencing symptoms of ulcerative colitis. Not recognizing what the symptoms truly represented, I did the manly thing and ignored them. By April the symptoms could be ignored no longer. I had dropped 30 pounds, was too exhausted to get out of bed, experiencing unrelenting pain and was promptly admitted to the hospital. A surgery and 6-days later I was discharged and sent home to start the recovery process. Again, doing the manly thing I forced myself to go back to work way before my body was ready and that put the healing process into slow motion. Jump ahead 2 surgeries and 2 months later and I still have not properly healed and was running on empty (energy-wise).
It had gotten to the point where something had to give or something bad was going to happen. So God sent in the calvary as the Z Board of Directors, under the direction of my medical team, asked me to step away from the station I love for a 60-day sabbatical. The goal was to allow my body to get the rest it so desperately needed, eliminate the stress that it didn’t, and have a real fighting chance to heal. Two weeks into the sabbatical and my last surgery follow-up appointment showed the hoped for results, more healing in less time. My body is responding to lots of sleep, lots of quiet time with God and less stress by accelerating the healing process.
When I have gotten discouraged and directly asked God why He just didn’t end the suffering and heal me… the answer has been the same, over and over again. That still, small voice saying, “Do you trust me?” “Do you trust me… to heal you, meet the needs of your family and the needs of the radio station?” “Do you trust me?” is what I have heard over and over again as I pray. And from the valley floor I know the answer. I feel it deep in my heart. “Yes God, I trust you completely.” He IS healing me. He HAS and IS meeting the needs of my family and the radio station.
And in the process He has been working on my heart. Suffering is the refiner’s fire. I know that I will be walking out of the other side with a renewed and strengthened faith. The mountaintop moments in life are too easy to take for granted. When you are walking on the valley bottom of life… that is when you feel God’s presence in a different way. You are not just thanking Him for getting you to the top of the mountain. It is in the valley where you are crying out that you are in over your head and only He can get you through the crisis you are facing… and in His time and His way, He will see you through.
Your prayers would mean the world to me as I face yet another surgery on September 13 which God willing, just might be the last. But whether my life gets back to normal after the next surgery or I have to wait a little longer, I know the answer to His question, “Do you trust Me?” God, I am 100% all-in. I do trust you!
I miss getting to share your ride home each afternoon on the Z and evenings on Hot 95.9. Here is praying for an October return!