Mornings with Ellis, Tyler and Tracy…A positive way to start your day!
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.
Philippians 2:3 NIV
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.
Hebrews 13:5 NIV
Do everything in love.
1 Corinthians 16:14 NIV
By Dwight Bain
The Big Tree burned up a few weeks ago and I’m still sad. A mysterious fire brought down of one of the world’s oldest cypress trees, estimated to be 3,500 years old. The 118-foot-tall bald cypress was the fifth largest tree in the world… but it’s gone now. The fire investigators believe that a fire was sparked in a hollow part of the tree, so it slowly burned up from the inside out. By the time fire fighters were called to save one of the oldest trees in North America – it was too late.
Hearing the news of a landmark I first visited as a child made me feel sad, but it also reminded me of how often people do the same thing. Think about it for a minute. How many times do you see someone who has a great career, but then they self-destruct from the inside-out. Dr. David Uth describes it this way, “You never see the fall in a person’s life – you only see the crash.” Because we can’t see what is burning in people’s lives there is a tendency to believe they are doing well when in fact there are two dangerous emotional reactions we need to be aware of… emotions that can destroy everything good.
Burning up –
This dangerous behavior is easy to spot. Someone is angry, moody and irritable all the time. When someone is burning up with emotion they need a healthy way to vent, so these toxic emotions don’t get dumped on the people they love the most.
Burning in –
This is the slow-burn, like the one that destroyed the Big Tree. Resentment, bitterness or revenge are common emotions that slowly burn inside of a person, and eventually can destroy them and the relationships they cherish at home, or work.
So how can you manage these intense emotions without destroying yourself- or others? A better approach is to remember the words of King David in Psalm 34…”This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him and delivered him from all his fears.” When you learn to voice the emotional pressure you feel, it can be pointed toward productive behavior, and can bring much good. (Much like a fire in a fireplace can warm, comfort and soothe a person.) How can you express emotions without dumping a “Fire” onto others?
1. Pray it-
Taking your fears, frustrations, anger and hurt directly to God is the single best way to manage major emotions. Little children learn to take their burdens to God, so they don’t have to carry them alone. As adults we can do the same thing.
2. Write it-
Expressing painful emotions on paper is a simple way to relieve pressure. The odd thing is that it’s so simple most people won’t take time to do it. When you take a pen and paper and just vent out the frustrations you now can actually ‘see’ more of the problem, so it’s easier to sort through your options and find a solution.
3. Talk it-
Finding a trusted friend, pastor or counselor to talk through issues is another positive way to manage major emotions. It’s also a safe way to sort through the best way to respond to protect the relationship- instead of letting pressure build up that will ultimately destroy it.
4. Read it-
To spend time in God’s word studying the biblical response to managing emotions is another positive way to sort through the normal emotional pressures we all feel. Small children can learn from simple stories that show how to deal with others, (like “Veggie Tales), and adults can benefit from the insights of popular authors who focus on counseling themes. Reading to gain new skills is another way to seek out new options to manage major emotions. Remember – you always have options.
Do you see the difference? To let pressure build up inside can lead to the dangerous situation of a tiny spark igniting a major fire of emotion. Wisdom is to keep the risk of internal fires away by spending time in healthy skill development, instead of continually being at risk for a major burn.
The relationships in your life are important… protect them by keeping the risk of fire away. Every step you take and every skill you develop will protect the beauty of God’s design for you, and those you care about.
About the author: Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Life Coach in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He partners with the media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access more counseling and coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his life management blog with over 400 complimentary articles and special reports at www.LifeWorksGroup.org
My husband and I are a few weeks away from celebrating our first wedding anniversary and we are thrilled to share the news that I’m a little more than 3 months pregnant!
It’s been fun to talk with Tyler and Tracy about their pregnancy experiences. I find myself asking them questions like “Is it normal to be really grossed out by the smell of coffee?” or “Is it okay to sleep on my back or do I always have to sleep on my side?” I just found out from Tyler that I’m not supposed to eat hot dogs which is what I was craving for lunch today.
I was at a pre-natal appointment a few weeks ago where my husband joined me. He was coming from work so he got there a little later than I did. The nurse knocked on the door of the exam room and said “Daddy’s here” and my first thought was “What is my dad doing here?” That was the first time I heard anyone refer to my husband as “daddy”.
It’s been such a fun journey for both my husband and me so far and I’m so looking forward to the weeks and months ahead.
- Producer Carrie
Encouragement is not something that comes easy for me. Some people I know are natural encouragers…they always know what to say and are always thinking about how to lift others up. I am much more literal and practical with almost everything I approach. God is nudging me to always think about others and consider what they are going through.
This past weekend I went to a marathon with my husband He was running so I parked myself halfway to be there to take a picture of him. I was there an hour early watching all the runners go through. A marathon is 26.2 miles…that’s a long way. As I stood there…I cheered them on. Some of them were tired and you could tell they wanted to stop and give up…I would say “Keep it up…you can do this.” You could see their eyes brighten and their whole bodies straighten up. It was like water to a thirsty plant. The thing about encouragement is it has nothing to do with you. It always thinks about the other person. I want to be an encouraging friend, mom, wife and child of God. The challenge for me will be with my 2 little girls. Instead of telling them what they need to do better, I want to start telling them about what they do right.
-Tracy Leek
“You are always messing things up!” “Why can’t you just listen to me and actually do what I say!” These were the comments I witnessed a mom saying to her young child in the grocery store. The little boy must have only been around 6 years old. My heart broke as I saw the look of embarrassment on his face as he stood over his spilled juice box. After my moment of judgment I started seeing glimpses of ME in the face of that tired and frustrated mom. It was like God was showing me how ugly and hurtful some of my reactions to my sweet girls have been. As parents our intentions are always good aren’t they? It’s always easier to notice someone else’s bumps and boils than it is to notice our own.
I’m thankful that Kate Battistelli has been our guest on the Z Thursday mornings throughout this month. She is the momma of Z artist Francesca Battistelli and author of a new book called “Growing Great Kids”. She has been encouraging us to be more intentional with our kids in 2012. I want to be the kind of mom that demonstrates love and encouragement even when I don’t want to. Let’s claim Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
So when our kids create a mess on aisle 4 or if they don’t live up to the high standards we can sometimes set for them, may God help us to see in those moments that our words can cut like a knife or show God’s grace. I challenge you to join me in being more intentional than ever in speaking encouragement to our kids, taking time each day to let them hear you thank God for them. Point out the gifts in them that make them special. Most importantly, in the times we lose our cool and mess up, lets vow to show our kids what forgiveness and grace are all about. Its humbling to apologize to your child.
There is power in the words we speak to our children. We have the choice everyday to build them up or tear them down. My 4 year old Emma Grace wrote me a note that said “You are the best mommy I have ever had”. She also asked me, “ Mommy did you know that you get more beautiful everyday?” She must know that powerful words work on mommas too!
-Tyler
I hope you had an amazing Christmas with your family and friends. I love this time of year. It seems like at least for a day things slow down and we get to be home together and laugh and relax. I am from Ohio so we will travel there to see my mom and dad and family. I miss them. My dad has a way of making me laugh and he can still make me want to be a better person.
When we get back..the start of the New Year brings big changes! I am so excited to be joining Ellis and Tyler on the Z Morning Show! I have two little ones at home, Abigail is 6 and Liz is 4 and this will allow me to get them from school and love on them in the afternoons. I will miss Deano so much 
He’s such a good friend. Please keep him company for me. This is a huge answer to prayer for me. I began praying to God over a year ago and asking Him to make a way for me to be with my girls and I am humbled and amazed at His answer. Our God is so much bigger than we can ever imagine…and His love is even bigger. I look forward to talking with you in the morning starting in Jan! Now go eat more chocolate and we’ll worry about the pounds next year 
-Tracy
Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach, shares 4 key factors to guide unmotivated students toward academic success. Read it here.
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Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach, shares the benefits of having a leader come alongside to help you achieve greater results, including how to find a mentor. Read it here.
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The warning signs of children facing complex family crisis by Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach. Read it here.
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Morningswith Ellis, Tyler and Tracy |
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Middayswith Melony McKaye |
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Afternoonswith Dean O'Neal |
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Eveningswith Suzanne Lynn |
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Overnightswith Tate |