Ever have a terrible day where NOTHING was going right? You know, the kind of day where the clock doesn’t go off, you miss breakfast, then get stuck in traffic, show up late to work and get yelled at by your boss. Sometimes life is hard and absolutely nothing is working out; still it seems everyone knows a friend who never has a bad day, then others who live in chaos. Why do some people handle unexpected problems and stress better than others?
- Are they stronger?
- Is it because they look better, or have more money or live in a bigger house?
- Do they have an easier time because they are just lucky?
- Is their marriage partner or mother working overtime to solve problems for them?
- Does God like them more than you so He protects them from experiencing pain?
- What is it that makes some people less moody, temperamental and upset than others?
Listen – it’s not strength, intelligence, beauty or wealth – Simply put your mood is triggered by a mindset. No matter what is happening in your life you can control your thoughts and when you do it totally changes your mood. You may not think you have the power to control your thoughts and impulses after a tough day, but you do. Listen to the wisdom of King Solomon, “A Man without Self-Control is like a city broken into and left without Walls.” (Proverbs 25:28)
If you are above the age of five you have the mental capacity to think before you react in anger or frustration. If you want to determine the psychological age of the people around you – watch how they manage irritation when things don’t work out. Blowing up over your name being misspelled by the barista at Starbucks indicates a very low threshold of self-control; yet sometimes the person with no tolerance for problems in their own life expect everyone else to cut them some slack and show compassion. Your moods are an indicator of EVERYTHING going on inside you- your character, your maturity, your personality and even your faith in God. The way character and maturity is expressed through difficult circumstances was described by John Burroughs as, “Temperament lies behind mood; behind will, lies the fate of character. Then behind both, the influence of family the tyranny of culture; and finally the power of climate and environment; and we are free, only to the extent we rise above these.”
Want a better day? Learn to manage your moods. Here’s a quick formula I’ve found that helps everyone to live out the teaching of Jesus, who said, “I am come that they may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10) Jesus didn’t promise a life without problems, rather, the promise was for a meaningful life. The more you learn to manage your moods, the better your life will be- here’s how.
- Start with your Belief system, because
- Your Beliefs shape your Thinking, and
- Your Thinking triggers your Feelings, then
- Your Feelings determine your Mood
The more you can challenge, and change your belief system, the more you can manage your moods. In fact, if you want to look into a “time machine” to see what your future is going to look like, just look at how you are managing your moods now. This is because mood management is one of the key indicators of your success in relationships, family, work and personal success.
If you are stuck in an angry mood – don’t fire your family or quit your job. Work on you. Change you. Find strength in the teaching of your faith and the wisdom of your mentors. You can change and you can rise above being moody and upset and you can teach your kids and spouse to do the same.
You have a choice on the worst days to remember how good God has been to you and those you care about. It’s been my experience as I meditate on the blessings and then focus on answered prayers that my moods soften, my expectations change and instead of making life miserable for the people around me, I can become a source of strength to help them through tough times. It’s a powerful source of healing to everyone you are in relationship with when you can move from being temperamental to modeling self-control. I promise you there will be an opportunity today to choose joy over sadness, peace over panic and acceptance of others over judging them. When you can manage your moods your whole world will be better and the world of everyone around you will be better and that’s a good trade– try it!
About the Author – Dwight Bain helps people rewrite their story to move from stress to satisfaction as a Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Life Coach in practice since 1984. He partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture. Access more counseling and coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his counseling blog with over 850 complimentary articles and special reports atwww.LifeWorksGroup.org.
