A 2005 study of psychiatric disorders estimated 1 in 5 children will have temperamental mood disorders which can be expressed in many ways. It can feel overwhelming for parents, especially when it can be so hard to determine what triggers it. When you can identify the triggers, it is easier to identify the source. Psychologists have created a common list of angry warning signs. As you read through them think of your child, and what might trigger their angry moods.
Which of these sounds like your son or daughter?
___ Easily Irritable
___ Frequently loses temper
___ Highly Impatient
___ Easily Annoyed
___ Verbally Defensive or Verbally Aggressive
___ Sulks, Pouts and acts out in a passive-aggressive way
___ Often ends up expressing frustration
___ Starts quarrels, arguments in a defiant manner
___ Pushes for conflict in an overly aggressive manner Overly aggressive
___ Violent and hostile language including swearing or name calling
___ Violent threats, spiteful, vindictive actions- including rage episodes
___ Violent acts against people, animals or property, or violent acts against oneself
Once you identify the triggers, then consider the root factors. Which of these sounds like your child? (circle)
Selfishness, rejection from friends or siblings, modeling anger seen in parents marriage relationship, low self-esteem, loneliness, grief or sadness over parents divorce, shattered trust, poverty, body image issues, insecurities, academic failures, poverty, disappointments and the resentment cycle.
Resentment cycle –
Hurt of some kind, (often from misunderstanding)
Deep Disappointment
Resentment
Bitterness
Hatred
Rage
Revenge
These temperamental emotions are common, but highly destructive. When you discover your child facing these symptoms please take action to create positive change and one of the most positive steps you can take is to model forgiveness. When a parent is able to say “I was wrong” it sets the child free to do the same. Trying to use talking, listing words, writing or art to draw out the root issues in your child allows her to learn to process emotions, instead of stuff them. Begin to use this philosophy in your home, “If we can talk through it – we can get through it.”Because the greater your ability to keep the conversation moving forward instead of simmering in resentful silence, the greater you will experience deep peace in your home.
Home should be the safest and happiest place. Sparking the conversations to let the temperamental moods out to be discussed is a major step to move forward to make that happen. Breaking the angry cycle will change your home forever, so please take bold action to set your family free and do it today. You will never regret reclaiming peace and stability your home.
About the Author –
Dwight Bain is an author, counselor and certified life coach who helps people manage major change. Follow his daily posts for wisdom on Twitter or Instagram @DwightBain orwww.Facebook.com/DwightBain or www.LinkedIn.com/DwightBainor www.YouTube.com/DwightBain or at this blog with over 800 special reports accessible at www.LifeworksGroup.org
