Did you hear….
Kim Kardashian is quitting Hollywood to become a Kindergarten teacher
Beyoncé is going to stop singing to become an ESPN sports commentator
Tim Tebow is giving up sports to become a Chick-fil-A manager in Florida
People like to gossip almost as much as they like to repeat gossip, even if it’s not true. Falsehoods are so common they are frequently labeled #FakeNews in social media.
You may not think about it much, but the same thing can happen in your personal life. (Not the celebrity part – but the fake news part). Humans are wired to believe rumors and gossip, even if they are outright lies – and it is a powerful force in relationships.
You see, belief shapes behavior – even if the belief is completely based on a lie. When you and I meditate on a lie, it quickly alters our mood and our mindset. Here are some of the common falsehoods that can steal your health and happiness.
- You can’t lose weight after age 40
- Google searches can diagnose my medical condition better than a doctor
- You can never be too rich or too thin
- Self-worth is based on net worth – especially with jewelry, cars and boats
- The busier you are – the more you will accomplish
- You can eat and drink as much as you want in your 20’s without hurting your health
- Eight hours of sleep per night doesn’t really matter
- Follow your heart in all relationships and just say or do whatever feels right
- Let an app on your phone make all the major decisions for you
- My current relationship problems are not my fault – I just pick the wrong people
- My partner is so selfish they only care about themselves and don’t care about my happiness at all
- Cookie pieces contain no calories and you can eat as many as you want
- Credit card and student loan debt is just a normal part of life to not worry about
- God could never forgive me for what I’ve done in the past – I’m too big a sinner
- Buying more things for your kids is more important than spending time with them
Don’t know about you, but I’ve wasted a lot of time meditating on some of these ‘lies’ and it stole my joy and health, (especially the sleep deprivation part). What you and I believe has TREMENDOUS power over our moods and our motivations.
If you want to feel better quickly learn to see the truth in a statement so you can give up on the ‘lie’. Legendary counselor Henri Nouwen noticed there were five primary false beliefs. They are –
- I am what I have
- I am what I do
- I am what other people say or think of me
- I am nothing more than my worst moment
- I am nothing less than my best moment
These are common, but they are all lies and they will ruin your mood and often your relationships along with it. You are more than what you look like, or the stuff you have accumulated or what others think about you, or mistakes you have made. Believe the truth – you are more.
A better approach is to move from believing a lie, to finding and embracing the truth. For me that starts in the Bible. I have found more comfort and insight into human behavior within the pages of scripture than anyplace else.
Consider what St. Paul wrote on the power of right thinking. “Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”. (Philippians 4:8, NIV)
Notice there is nothing about gossip, agendas, rumors, egos, regrets, complaing, resentment, revenge or any other negative perspectives about people. He simply decided to focus on the positive and then challenged his readers to do the same. (This is even more powerful when you realize he was writing these words from a prison cell.)
You and I can do that as well. We can stop filling our minds with #fakenews about whatever is trending, to embrace the #realNews that God loves you just the way you are, but his word challenges each of us to not stay that way. I believe we were designed to stretch, grow, improve and become better today than we were yesterday.
When you and I decide to see the best in people, and then forgive ourselves for past failures to see ourselves the way God does – the mood instantly changes, motivation ramps up and morale is transformed.
It all starts with a belief – and you control that process. Want to feel healthier and happier? Change your belief. Want a better marriage and family? Change your belief. This process is simple but it does require a shift in thinking. Take the step to let go of false beliefs to grab hold of the truth. Start now!
About the Author – Dwight Bain guides people in rewriting their story through the power of change. He is a frequent media guest on rebuilding calm after crisis quoted by the Washington Post, New York Times and Orlando Sentinel. Bain is a life-long resident of Orlando where he lives with his wife Sheila. Follow him on social media @DwightBain
